The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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