we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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