why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Found the puke drawer
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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