Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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