He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
