A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
