The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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