Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
