"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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