Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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