He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's never too late to be topless.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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