I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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