Cold hands, warm shart.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
