Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
