community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
