So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
