If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
