It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
