the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
