pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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