Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
