How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
