Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
