We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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