I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
