Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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