Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
