3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
