Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
