Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My Sexting was not on an AP level
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
