she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
