I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
