i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
