I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
