did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
