do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
