we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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