I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize