I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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