Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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