i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
