also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
