we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I understand Curling. That high.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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