And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize