he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
two words: eviction party
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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