Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
