This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
