Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
