D3 body, D1 cock
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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