oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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