hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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