so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
