D3 body, D1 cock
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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