PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't think brook has ever known best
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
