I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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