They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
