He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize