Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
