I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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