so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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