worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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