No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
