we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
