what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
