Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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