Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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