Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
