i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
