her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
