i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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