he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
