somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
where are my eyebrows?
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