Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
