my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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