When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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