i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
