I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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