It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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