She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
