i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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