Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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